A Little Bit Dyspraxic

Last year we started the process of getting Sam observed by medical professionals to see if he was considered dyspraxic (or having Developmental Co-ordination Disorder, the new term for it), and to get him (hopefully) some Occupational Therapy help with his hand - he's unable to make a pincer grip without it causing him pain and discomfort which means he holds a pen in a rather unusual manner.

One of the problems with dyspraxia is that it is difficult to diagnose - so many symptoms of the disorder are very much part and parcel of being a six year old boy: clumsy, lacking focus, disorganised etc.  This is Sam in a nutshell, but throw into the mix the problems with his handwriting, his previous diagnosis of verbal dyspraxia, the fact that he had no real friends and often displayed a lack of empathy, we felt we had grounds to worry.  All of these are classic symptoms of the disorder.

That said, in the year since we started this, many of these fears seem to have been allayed somewhat; in Year 2, Sam started to get invited to birthday parties, he brought home friends for tea for the first time, we heard from his teacher that he was a popular boy in class.  His Year 2 teacher seemed much less concerned that his handwriting was poor, taking the long term view that with the increasing prevalence of computers and tablets in school life, Sam is likely to type rather than write most of his schoolwork.  But his handwriting was still an issue, if only because we didn't know whether he should be attempting to write with the "correct" grip as his previous teacher had insisted on, and if so, how to get around the problem with it hurting his hand.

We went to see a senior OT specialist at the hospital and spent a highly interesting 90 minutes discussing what Sam can do and what he struggles with, and what can be done to help him.  He performed a variety of tasks for her, did some writing and generally chatted away to her in his usual disarming manner.

The headline that I brought away from the meeting was that he doesn't warrant a diagnosis of DCD  as they only give these to children whose quality of life is seriously affected by the condition. (This probably boils down to the fact that a diagnosis has a financial implication somewhere along the line.)  That said, it was recognised that he does have difficulties acquiring new skills that require co-ordination, and to do so will require extra effort and motivation on his (and our) part. So, a little bit dyspraxic.

I did come away with some interesting ideas and tips about how to help him with non-school co-ordination tasks like riding a bike, swimming, and using a knife (to cut his food, not to join a gang or anything).  And I suppose that when he does have a new skill to acquire, we'll have to do lots of research beforehand to find the best way for him to approach it.

What was interesting, and totally contrary to what his Year One teacher had said is that he shouldn't be made to write with a pincer grip, but to be allowed to write in a way that is comfortable for him.  I was expecting to be given fancy pencil grips and OT exercises for his hand to enable him to achieve the requisite grip, but it turns out that guiding his pencil using his middle finger is perfectly acceptable as it is still controlled by the radial nerve.  If he had used his fourth or little fingers to guide, that would have been an issue, as they are there to steady the hand when writing but the using the middle finger is fine.

This leaves me with some irritation at his teacher for making him do something that would have caused him pain and discomfort; as the OT specialist said, it was worth coming to see her just to have this dealt with.  This means we can start working towards improving Sam's handwriting without worrying that we might be making his hand hurt; that fact alone is very reassuring.

If these things follow the same pattern, OT will write up a summary of the appointment and pass it to the relevant parties (GP, school, me) and I'll definitely be hanging on to it for future reference.  Having some experience of the lack of communication between Infants and Juniors, I can already envisage a situation in the future where I have to go and bitchslap a teacher who insists Sam holds his pen "correctly" or a sadistic PE teacher who shouts because he can't throw or jump or co-ordinate a series of actions.  But that is all in the future.  For now, we're in a good place that we can move on from without too much worry.

2012, the year when absolutely nothing happened?

It wasn't a bad year, but it wasn't a sparkling year either.   From my point of view, no massive life-changing events, no change in status from the end of last year to the beginning of this one, not one event where I can look back and say "Look!  this is what we did in 2012."

I spent a lot of time worrying - by nature, I'm a terrible worrier - and I seem to have spent a lot of 2012 wanting to achieve things but ending up by not achieving much at all. I had great plans last year for doing something that would bring some cash in, but the things I did attempt weren't particularly successful.  I'm a great one for having ideas and then failing to put them into practice, or having an idea and then expecting someone else (Doug, usually) to help make it a reality.  I suppose if I were to make a New Year's Resolution, it would be to try to be more proactive, to actually make things happen instead of doing nothing or being over-reliant on someone else.

However, I did have a good conversation with Doug in December where he made it perfectly clear that me not working suits him down to the ground - no need to check in with me about whether he can go to London for a business meeting, or be away for a night or two, no worries about finding childcare for random inset days or spending all his weekend ferrying kids to and from the activities they can do after school because I am free to do so during the week.  And he is right that it's better for the kids.  I should revel in it, rather than feeling guilty about it and embrace the freedom that I have while I have it.

Unusually for us, we didn't have a big family holiday this year.  We had great plans to do lots of camping in this country; these were put to the sword by the joy that is the British Weather and we only managed a paltry three trips away.  We also discovered that our tent is simply too big to be erected and dismantled for just two nights away, especially as the awful weather has meant I've had to re-erect it in our garden on our return to dry out.  Most of our plans for this next year seem to involve caravans and hotels rather than canvas, either that or buying a smaller tent.

I say that nothing much has happened, but life goes on - the kids have grown a bit more, moved up another year in school and generally progressed as children are wont to do.  I recently found a photo of Jacob taken about 18 months ago and was struck by how much he has changed.  Here he is in July 2011:-

And here is again, back in September 2012, looking about 13:-

I know the glasses make a difference, but I'm still shocked at how much older he looks.  My little baby boy is growing up fast :)  (Sam, on the other hand, looks exactly the same in photos taken in July 2011 as he does in ones I took last week!)

One thing that has happened this year, and it's quite a biggie, is a startling change in lifestyle for both myself and Doug.  Starting on the day that the kids went back to school in September, we both went on a diet, and in Doug's case, exercise regime.  As of just before Christmas, he had lost 3 1/2 stones and I'd lost 2.  Obviously we've lapsed over the Christmas and New Year period, but it's back on the straight and narrow now that all the turkey and chocolate has gone, back to food diaries and calorie counting, but we're both looking forward to it now that we know we can do it.  Both of us feel so much healthier, we're sleeping brilliantly and are fitting into clothes that we haven't graced for several years.

 Naturally, I am deeply jealous of how Doug has managed to get running with the C25K programme, but can't bring myself to go running, no matter what.  So, starting once the kids have gone back to school, I'm going to be heading off to the pool a couple of times a week and will be working on the swimming version of C25K - a couch to a mile programme.  Coupled with the 90 minutes of walking a day I do with the dog, I'm hopeful this will make all the difference to the dieting process.  We shall see.  Having had a late night last night, I'm not feeling particularly disposed to make good on my idea of going for a family walk today, so not the best of (re) starts!

The dieting has also led me to be rather more proactive in other ares of life - I've done the last bits of decorating that the house really needed and have been annoying me for nearly six years, since we moved in (two rooms completely repainted and finishing touches added around the house).  I've collated all my half-started and half-hearted craft projects that have been cluttering up the house.  I've finished one of them already (socks!) and have re-versioned another for starting later today.

But one thing that definitely didn't happen in 2012 is that I didn't write on this damn blog quite as much as I should have!  Maybe this will be another thing that I get round to in 2013.....