Chuggers

Chuggers are an absolute pet hate of mine.  I loathe the way that they all seem to be Tigger Incarnate, bouncing up to you with bottoms made out of spring: "Hey miss, why don't you put down those heavy bags and just chill with me for a while?  Because I'm bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun!"  If only they were, like Tigger, the only one.

I'm normally fairly adept at avoiding them - don't make eye contact, walk just far enough round them that you're not invading their air space, keep on walking.  But today I 'm operating on a bad night's sleep and not quite enough coffee, and the sign above my head saying "Pester Me" wasn't helping either.  Suddenly, they were descending on me and my death-ray glare was malfunctioning.  The words "No", "Still No", and "Get out of my way, RIGHT NOW" might have been mentioned.

Now when I say I'm adept at avoiding them, I'm not kidding - I've never actually been interviewed by one, but I believe the process is that they ask you a few leading questions about the services provided by their charity and at the end of that, you're given the hard sell to leave your bank account details with them so they can syphon all your cash out of your bank account as well as donating one or both of your kidneys, if the chugger is particularly persuasive.

For me, it's counter productive - it makes me hate the charities that do it.  I don't want to have to spend the time when I'm out in York trying to avoid chuggers, I don't want to be accosted by some overly enthusiastic 20-something who won't take "fuck off" for an answer, and I really really don't want to give my bank account details to some random person with a clipboard. 

And do you know what's even more annoying than chuggers in the street?  the ones who COME TO YOUR HOUSE!  Yes, they knock on your door and ask if you've got a few minutes to talk about something, and I'm standing there with an apron on looking harrassed so of course I've got a few minutes to spare for you.  Come on in, take a pew, here's my debit card, have a kidney.

Of course it's the charities themselves who are to blame for adopting these tactics; but to all would-be chuggers out there, I have two words to say to you:  bar work.